Knock it Off!

When I checked the temperature gauge in my minivan this afternoon it read 78.  What a gorgeous day it was today in NH!  A perfect day for going to confession.

Yes, confession!  This is a sacrament that is maligned.  I think that sometimes it keeps some people from returning to the Church, when they learn that we haven't done away with this one.  And contrary to what some people may think, it is a beautiful sacrament.  Yes, that's right, beautiful.  Some of you may be thinking, "Confessing my sins, beautiful?"  Yes, the mercy of our God is beautiful.  Going to Him with a humble heart, admitting our faults is beautiful.

We all have our reasons for not going to confession; some people feel they can go directly to God, others aren't even ready to forgive themselves; still others feel they are confessing the same things every time.  I fall into the last category: there are things I struggle with time and time again, but at least, most of the time, I'm not adding new shortcomings.  The last time I went was just before the birth of my now seven month old daughter.  Which is FAR too long ago for me.  I'm not going to get into listing my sins here, that's between me, the priest, and God.  (This is actually a good place to point out that part of the reason for going to a priest is because we don't just hurt God when we sin, but we hurt the community, the Body of Christ, when we sin.) But I do write this blog trying to give witness to living out my Catholic faith.  I hope that my writing conveys how I am trying to live my life.  I am in no way trying to be showy or believe that I am better than anyone else who does not go to church, or to confession for that matter.  But I have to say that going to confession today has left me feeling free, unburdened.  His mercy can work wonders if we let it.

The problem is that sometimes we try to hide our true selves.  We say something that is only a partial truth to look good.  We don't tell it like it is.  Take Lent for example:  I could say that I've been doing everything I set out to do, but that wouldn't be the truth.  I took on a lot this season; I'm not sure why I didn't focus on just a few things.  But I have failed (should have confessed this tonight but I had other things on my mind - maybe I will have to go back again later this week). 

• I intended to take my girls to mass one morning a week and one evening every week in addition to Sunday mass.  Hasn't happened. 
• I intended to read through the Catechism of the Catholic Church on the Creed.  I started to do this during the evenings, but find the material dry and difficult to read at night, so this is something I will have to find time for during the girls' naps as time allows.  Instead, I did start reading the Matthew Kelly book, "Rediscover Catholicism" which is a more light read and very interesting. 
• Other things I took on: Writing Wednesdays (it doesn't always happen on Wednesday but I have been blogging once a week),
• no TV Thursdays (when Alicia was sick I renegged on this one for her, but she's been doing it every Thursday since) and
• no FaceBook Fridays (ok, so once I completely forgot I was logged in and one time I forgot it was Friday - it is such a habit!). 

The point I'm trying to make here is that trying to "look good" with God, doesn't work.  He knows it all.  The reading from the Gospel a few weeks ago was John 4: 5-42 the story of the Samaritan woman at the well.  As Jesus is conversing with her he says "Go call your husband and come back."  The woman answered and said to him, "I do not have a husband."  Jesus answered her, "You are right in saying, 'I do not have a husband.' For you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband.  What you have said is true." (Jn 4:16-18)  Jesus doesn't mince words here.  He speaks the truth back to her plain as day.  He's basically saying, "I know you've had five husbands and the guy you're shacked up with isn't your husband.  Knock if off lady!"  God knows all, so there's no reason to be cute and play games with God.  He knows the truth.  Confession allows us to go own up to it.  "Knock it off!"  Jesus says.  Are we open enough to answer him with the truth he already knows?

Let's Get More Ashes!

Since our little girls have been sick, the past two weekends I have gone to Mass without them.  I have come to the discovery that when they are not there, I actually am able to focus and pay attention, but I missed them so much, that in itself was almost a distraction.

Being distracted during Mass is something that I constantly struggle with these days.  I suppose with two little children, this isn't all that surprising.  I used to worry more about the older daughter being a distraction to others, but she has been much better and she always sits with her memere, so I'm off the hook on that score.  (Ok, so maybe she isn't better and I just don't realize it since someone else is always watching her in church.  My mom will have to weigh in on that one. She does periodically come to my end of the pew and peer at her sister or lean up against me, but it isn't very often!)  Our six month old usually needs me to walk her around in the back of the church to keep her somewhat quiet.  I try to avoid the "cry room" as much as possible, mostly because it is very crowded during 10:30 Mass, but in part because the kids in there are doing whatever they want with very little supervision.  Maybe those parents are able to focus more on the Mass than I am and that is their main concern rather than whether or not their children are paying attention. 

For some reason, this has me thinking about the sacrament of Baptism along with weekly attendance at Mass.  Now, I know that there are some people who will bring their infants to Church for their baptism and then not be back until their first communion.  Quite frankly, I don't get the point.  Baptism is not just claiming the child for Christ or a merely to ensure that if, God forbid, something happens the child will go straight to heaven.  By having your child baptised you are initiating them into the Catholic Church, standing before God saying that you believe the Catholic faith and will be passing that faith on to your children.  If you are not going to Church regularly, do you really understand your faith?  And if you are not going to Church, why is it important to you to have them baptised into the faith?  I just don't get it.

I have friends who have said that a child doesn't get anything out of going to Mass, but I have to differ.  My two year old daughter seems to enjoy Mass every week, even if there are times where she seems to try to do everything possible to get out of the pew!  She pays attention when the procession goes up to the altar, she dances around to the songs, puts the envelope in the basket.  Just this Lent, my two year old on Ash Wednesday left Church telling me, "That was a good one, let's get more ashes! That was a very, very good one at church!  I talked to Gary!"  It occurred to me that she is getting something out of Mass, yes, even at the age of two.



our six month old on Ash Wed.



Catholic Revert

This account was created well over a year ago with the best of intentions, but I guess I created it without a real thought for what I would be writing about. I have determined that there is no time like the present, especially now that it is lent, and regardless of not being sure what topics will be the focus of this blog, I am going to get started. Mostly this blog will be about my faith, religion, and relationship with God, usually as it pertains to our small family. Sometimes it will just be funny stories, possible emotional ramblings or a topic that has gotten stuck in my head that I think needs to be flushed out.

Having been a revert to the Catholic faith just over 6 years ago, my beliefs and relationship with God have become much stronger than my early years when it was a "blind" faith. A revert, for those of you who don't recognize the term, is someone who has been away from their religious practice for a while and has decided to return to take a closer look at what they left behind. I truly believe, that if you leave your heart and mind open, God does some amazing things.

I came back to my hometown parish after being away for about 11 years or so. I had no major issues with the Catholic Church - I just happened to go to college and it was easy not to go to Mass. Oddly enough, I went to a Catholic College, but it was one that, at best, I now consider "Barely Catholic." Sure, there were opportunities to go to Mass every weekend - even on Sunday nights. The usual excuses were made... "but I had to eat supper, I hadn't finished the assignment for class," etc., etc. Then as a college student, I got into things that college kids do and, well, let's just say I felt like a hypocrite. A few times after graduating college I would try to return to Church. I went to Reconciliation a few times, hoping it would give me renewed strength. Unfortunately, my returning to Mass would never last for very long. I would end up back in the same patterns, doing the same things, feeling like a hypocrite all over again.

The Coming Home to Catholicism Program was what did it. Finally, some people who were humble enough to share their stories about why they left and why they came back. I attended the seven week session six years ago this winter with the man who I am lucky to call my husband. What a blessing it has been!

Recently our pastor has recommended a book called Rediscover Catholicism by Matthew Kelly.  I have yet to see the book, but for anyone out there thinking about returning to your Catholic "roots", this may be a good place to start.  All I can say is that my openness to all the richness that the Church teaches has showered me with so many blessings. I am proud to say that I am now on the Coming Home team at my parish and tonight is week three of the program. The people who come through the doors are so courageous. This Lent I am praying that they will keep their hearts and minds open to all that the Church has to offer them and that they find a way to reconnect to their Lord and Savior, who has been waiting for them to come home.