Monday, August 15, 2011

Waiting Game

I think I've mentioned this before, but I am definitely someone who does not like things to be up in the air.  I have a hard time dealing with the unknown and probably am a bit of a control freak.  Sound familiar?  Well, the past few weeks I had managed to do pretty well dealing with the unknown.  Of course just as I was feeling like I was doing much better, at least in one realm of my life, here we go:  towards the end of last week I was full of anxiety, waiting to hear on some potential good news.  It isn't even MY news, per se.  How can someone else's news fill me with such anticipation?

God seems to want me to learn something here.  I keep reminding myself daily of the phrase, "Let go and let God."  Let's say it again, "Let go and let God."  There are days where I have that trust and believe God will give me and my family what we need.  Then there are days where I spend hours on end, feeling like I am waiting on pins and needles, heart beating a little faster, hoping beyond hope that our dreams will be coming true soon.

I guess I need to know that whatever WE think the plan is, that HE knows what is best for us.  Boy is that waiting game tough though.  The minutes seem to tick by so slowly, hours seem like days.  I jump when my phone buzzes with a text message or it rings, hoping that it is the much anticipated, potential good news.  Still nothing.  Then I start telling myself, "No news is good news."  And then I think, I am tied up in this "news" and it isn't even mine.  Just stop dwelling on it!!!

But even though it isn't mine, I find I'm still trying to muddle through.  Still playing that waiting game.  God has given me many blessings and I know that the future holds still more blessings.  I tend to get ahead of myself sometimes, which is definitely NOT a good thing.  I need to learn to live more in the present, stop trying to plan out the future.  After all, HE is in control, not me.  Hopefully lessons learned today, will be help for the future.  I just get so impatient sometimes.  And I feel like some good news would boost our spirits some.  We could really use that boost!

This weekend at church we celebrated the anniversary of the dedication of the new church that was built eleven years ago. Here is what Fr. G reminded me during his homily: Jesus Christ is our foundation! If He is placed at the center of our lives and we build our lives on Him, then we will be able to face any challenge that comes our way. Prayer and devotion to our Lord is key. If I find myself worrying needlessly, I just need to give it to up to Him.  God knows what is in store, so the waiting game is really all up to Him.

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